Life takes us through several tumultuous experiences that eat into our brain and never let us come out of it. Being with toxic personalities, be it friendship, relationship, or professional relations, topples our lives irreversible. Mostly we would not realize how we are sucked into the whirlpool of self-pity, lack of confidence and self-worth, and hatred. You might hear yourself say “I don’t know why something/someone is affecting so much.” Little do we realize that the hatred that we breed is like cancer that first feeds on your thoughts, reflecting on your actions, and finally consuming you. So, how to get rid of hatred? How to lead a life of positivity? How to remain unaffected by certain circumstances?
I asked myself these questions and there started my journey towards wellness.
I have been there:
You might know me as a multitasker who does something or the other all the time. I have been asked several times how I am finding time for myself amidst three little hyperactive kids. I used to beam in pride when I said I am not handling them we are handling each other. But behind this chirpy, short-tempered being, lies another persona that was pulled apart by a toxic friendship. Something that I brought upon myself. I failed to see the signs. Well, obviously it did not go down well.
As with any toxic personality, my one-time best friend did not leave any stone unturned to destroy my sweet little life which I have cocooned myself inside. Result? I had to break out of the cocoon and come out so that I could flay away from all the hatred, toxicity. How did I attain it? How did I get over the despair? And most important, how to get rid of the hatred?
Sometimes you hate someone due to something they did. Sometimes you hate someone for something that they remind you of. sometimes you hate someone for no reason at all or something you cannot pinpoint. But every time you hate someone you are breeding negativity for yourself that will eat you from inside, slowly, spitefully.
How to get rid of hatred?
Hatred is a strong emotion. As strong as it is, it has the power to eat you from inside. It emanates the vibe that you breed inside and consumes you. To get rid of it you have to get deep inside and know it for what it is.
1. Know the source
You should know the source of your hatred. Don’t start on with what the other person did. This will embark you on another hate trip. Know why you are letting the hatred affect you. Think about what result this hatred would bring in your life. When spiteful thoughts come to your mind, learn to identify them immediately. This takes immense willpower and endurance. The more you venture into it, the more you realize that it is coming from within and not due to someone else.
2. Breed your stubbornness
A general belief is that stubbornness is arrogance. Being stubborn is always counted as a bad quality but like any other emotion or quality, if handled with care, it can be used for your benefit. Be stubborn that you will not let the malice of another person or thing affect your peace of mind. Yes, I know it is easier said than done. But trust me if your breed stubbornness the right way, it can create magic in your lives.
3. Talk to yourself
This might sound like an abnormal idea but the more your converse with yourself the more you realize your strength and weakness. You need not speak out loudly, instead, you can meditate or pray. Once you start silently conversing with yourself, identify your strength and weakness. Once you do, you will realize that the same strength and weakness is what someone else is exploiting to get back at you. The origin where the hatred stems from. If you want to know how to get rid of hatred, you should know where to look for the origin.
4. Don’t wish ill for anyone
“Why is this person not getting the payback for his/her karma?”, This would be a common question that would have come into everyone’s mind. Wishing to see someone pay for their karma is the first point from where the hatred emanates. Ask yourself why you wish someone to suffer? Once you ponder, you will realize that it is not the righteous thought of right and wrong but your feeling of being hurt or betrayed that makes you think so. This in turn starts affecting you once you see the other person happy or unaffected.
“Why is this person not getting the payback for his/her karma?”, This would be a common question that would have come in everyone’s mind.
You have to realize that if someone is trying to pull you down, it indicates that the person is feeling pathetic inside. A person who is happy and content would never have time to concentrate on someone else’s life. This means the person whom you hate or try to hurt or humiliate is already suffering loneliness, insecurity, and pain. This realization is enough to convert your hatred to sympathy and empathy and the answer to how to get rid of hatred.
A person who is happy and content would never have time to concentrate on someone else’s life.
5. Replace unhealthy thoughts
Once you learn to identify the unhealthy thoughts, you would have to find an alternative to the same and replace the pattern of thoughts. This is how to get rid of hatred.
Why is this person hurting me? can be replaced by “I am the one who decides whether to be hurt or not”
Why isn’t this person not paying for the deeds? can be replaced by “Why should I wish for someone to pay or suffer. Chanting is another better way to calm your mind. You could chant anything that appeals to you religiously or spiritually. But trust me there is nothing that can replace the power of chanting.
Likewise, identify your pattern of thoughts and modify them. Concentrate on how you perceive more than what they do. Once you make this a pattern in your life, you will never have to ask how to get rid of hatred for you will grow above this feeling that eats you from inside.
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