Holistic Wellness with Rakhi

Tag: Morning cup of positivity

  • Manifestation Visualisation – The Sure Shot way to attain goal

    Manifestation Visualisation – The Sure Shot way to attain goal

    Everyone has a goal in their life. We keep searching for how to achieve a goal or ensure success, but we often forget that what we achieve needs our subconscious support and conscious effort. This is where the law of attraction comes into the picture. Through manifestation visualisation, we visualise our future and manifest ourselves attaining the goal while continuing to write the gratitude journal presuming that we have already achieved it. This is a beautiful journey where we attract universal energy and bring it in alignment with what we need from our life.

    Manifestation Visualisation 1

    Manifestation Visualisation – How to do it?

    Manifestation Visualisation - checklist

    I have always been an advocate of visualisation and visualisation meditation. However, Manifestation Visualisation under the Law of attraction is a process of assuming that your goal has been achieved so as to convince your subconscious mind and the universal every to come in alignment.

    1. Find a SMART goal

    If you wish to earn one crore in one hour, it is an impossible take. While with the Law of Attraction we are telling about how to make the impossible possible, we should not the goals that are unrealistic. Come on! You know what I mean. Also, make sure the intention is right. The goals should be framed such that it benefits someone and harms none.

    Manifestation Visualisation - Smart Goal

    2. Create a plan and start execution

    You should know what to do if you want to attain the goal. The steps to be taken should be laid out in a systematic fashion with as much specificity as possible and you should be doing the first step immediately. Eg: If you want to buy a car, you should do a test drive first. If you with to get a job, create a resume first.

    3. Visualise your Success

    While you are at it start visualising your sucess with visualisation meditation, guided hypnosis, Yoga nidra or any such methods. In addition, you should visualise every step that you take to attain your goal. The idea is to bring the universal energy closer to your goal.

    4. Gratitude journal

    Now that you have a plan, and have done the visualisation, you have to write down the points that you have done assuming that you have already achieved the goal. It can be done in pointers or as a story with you as a main character. While you are it this manifestation visualisation materialises into you gratitude journal where you thank the universe for letting you attain the goal . Eg: Thank you universe for letting me get my favorite car.

    Manifestation Visualisation - Woman thinking of future

    5. Have positive people around

    While you try to attain your goal try not to spend your time with people you drain your positivity and surround yourself with negative energy. Because, the more positive aura you keep around yourself, the faster the results would be.

    6. Be patient

    The most common mistake that people do is to give up easily after some time. There is an effective analogy that my tutor often say. You keep a tumbler full of water to boil. You turn on the heat and wait for sometime. But you see nothing and turn off the heat. Will the water boil? No! But will you blame the stove or tumbler for this? No, because you know it takes certain amount of time to attain this. Likewise you cannot give up after trying for some time. You have to learn to wait.

    Manifestation visualisation is a proven effort. It is no magic as many of you mioght have thought. You have to work to attain your goal while manifesting and writing the gratitide journal. Join our 21 days gratitude challenge so as to train and rewire your brain to bring the universal energy at your dispersal.

  • How has Training in NLP helped me professionally and personally?

    How has Training in NLP helped me professionally and personally?

    When I started my wellness journey there was a lot of information. From Life Coaching to NLP to CBT, REBT, and more, I have never given myself a break in learning. As much as I enjoy learning and applying the principles that I knew, nothing came in handy than training in NLP. I urge to take this journey down the alley of words, thoughts, and beliefs.

    Training in NLP

    What is NLP?

    NLP’s full form is Neuro Linguistic Programming. Neuro-Linguistic programming means rearranging and rewiring our thoughts and actions by organizing our thoughts, and behavior. It using submodalities, presuppositions, and meta-models, the practitioner creates a map of your mental process, using which they create a framework of our beliefs, values, and purposes. Knowing yourself and knowing the other person is the key to finding the solution. NLP helps in curing conditions like phobias, fear, anxiety, depression, etc.

    1. The 1,2,3 s of NLP are

    1. Action/ Reaction – The situation, or incident that is the source and trigger is the activating event. The action or reaction to the activating event is what brings the client to you in the first place.
    2. Beliefs/values – The framework of beliefs, values, and rules that keep them stuck in the problem at hand.
    3. Change – We can’t change people unless and until they are ready for the change. But we can be the contributor towards the change. Once they realize the beliefs and values behind the action/ reaction we help them change it.

    2. Meta models

    By changing the language pattern we can’t rewire the thought process of the client as a practitioner. This is probably the key factor in my training in NLP that has the maximum impact on the client and myself. Changing the negative thought pattern to a positive one is the first part of the metamodel. From shouldn’t to should, mustn’t to must and it goes on. Another aspect that we need to address is the mindreading habit of the subject. Eg. he doesn’t like me, I know what you are talking about. These are some assumptions that humans reach without real proof but turn into beliefs. Another aspect is to make the client tell themselves to realize the cause of something that has come into effect.

    Digging deeper into generalizations and preset beliefs is the basis of the meta-models and NLP at large. Anither aspect to address is complex equivalence. Eg. You don’t listen to me, so you don’t love me. Connecting two different aspects and reaching an assumption. Another aspect is presuppositions about how another person thinks and perceives. Another generalization aspect is universal quantifiers where we use words like never and always to explain someone’s behavior by generalizing it. The next aspect is nominalization wherein they use adverbs that nominalize the actual action. We shift the responsibility away and an NLP practitioner helps you to shift it back to the action and helps you take responsibility by bringing it back to the detail. The next step is to dive in and get the details of unspecified verbs. Like ‘hurt’ – he hurt me without telling “What exactly did he do”. So going in too with unspecified words like hurt, embarrassed, and disappointed is primary.

    Training in NLP - women listening

    Final and probably the most complicated aspect of NLP is simple deletions and comparative deletions. Eg: I’m fed up (fed up with what). She is better than me ( who is she and what is she better at.

    https://holisticwellnesswithrakhi.in/2019/04/09/happiness-is-your-right/

    3. Association and Disassociation

    While I was training in NLP, association, and disassociation is what helped me the most. This is the continuation of meta models. Associate the client with a negative emotion and then disassociate and ask them to see it from a third-person perspective like they are seeing it on a projector. With this practice, they see better and view the situation from a zoomed-out state. Then bring the ideal opposite like a calm and relaxed state.

    4. Anchoring

    When you have a repeated trigger point, you anchor to it. Be it anger, sadness, or any negative emotion we anchor the trigger to it. A particular incident happens during your high emotional state and subconsciously, your brain relates to the particular incident with the emotion. The task of NLP practitioners is to create the anchor, stack it, and finally collapse it. Another practice is to create a positive emotional state, fully associate with it and anchor it to action. By repeating this you can use the anchor to collapse the anchor of negative emotion.

    Training in NLP - Anchoring

    5. Eliciting timelines and levels of consciousness

    From blaming others for everything that happens in life, we switch to a level where we learn to take responsibility. Further, we change life on our terms. At last, we submit ourselves to the ultimate power. Is that it? No! This is just half of what NLP is all about in nutshell. Further, we deal with the clients, values, beliefs, and purposes, know more about them, and divert negative and defeating thoughts and beliefs into positive ones.

    Training in NLP is a vast practice that helps in changing lives magically without medication. It is often considered as pseudo-science by conventional but the results of NLP practice are magic. I have experienced it myself and with my client. To know more about it you can sign up for our One-on-One Life Coaching sessions.

  • Dosha Quiz – Ayurveda way of Quotation on healthy lifestyle

    Dosha Quiz – Ayurveda way of Quotation on healthy lifestyle

    Ayurveda is a centuries-old science, a way of living, and also an indicator that shows how to live your life. Originated from India, this science has ruled the world when we Indians have always failed to find the importance of living life as per ayurvedic principles. Quite often we remain gobsmacked to see the intensity of the belief that the foreigners show in our Yoga, Ayurveda, and chakras. Hence we never bothered to check our doshas or live as per this. To enable us to understand our Dosha and incorporate it into our lives, we have presented a Dosha Quiz, an Ayurveda way of quotation on a healthy lifestyle.

    Dosha Quiz - Quotation on Healthy Lifestyle

    Dosha Quiz – Ayurveda’s quotation on a healthy lifestyle

    According to Ayurveda, there are three types of Doshas – Vata, Pitta, Kapha

    Vata

    Vata is associated with ether and air. Imbalance in Vata dosha can create anxiety, constipation, etc. In order to balance /Vata we need to ingest foods that increase Pitta and Kapha. Floor exercises are the best for Vata imbalance. Keep yourself well hydrated and eat more protein and fat-rich food.

    Pitta

    Pitta is characterized by fire and water. It controls the endocrine, metabolic and digestive systems. An imbalance causes anger issues, restlessness, and skin diseases. Since the predominant element is fire, shower in cold water and stays near water bodies to balance Pitta. Avoid hot, spicy, and fermented foods as these may heat the body even more. Coconut water, sweet fruits, etc are good for Pitta imbalance.

    Kapha

    The elements of Kapha are water and earth. The imbalance of Kapha causes respiratory diseases, obesity, etc. Plenty of exercise and mindful activities like meditation and exercise are good for Kapha imbalance. Avoid oily, fatty, and dense carb foods. Eat raw fruits, vegetables, etc.

    Now that you know a brief about these doshas, take the quiz below. Please note, in order to understand your proper dosha and constitution, kindly don’t miss any questions. Also, if you are taking any medication, or if your are pregnant or breastfeeding, the suggestions may vary. In that case you can reply to our mail where we give you the results.

    Know your doshas

    Know your doshas

    Know your Dosha Imbalance so that you could rearrange your life and lead a healthy life.

    Name
    Name
    First
    Last
    Bodyweight
    Frame
    Skin
    Hair
    Nails
    Teeth
    Eyes
    Nose
    Appetite
    Taste Cravings
    Thirst
    Elimination
    Physical activity
    Endurance
    Sleep
    Perspiration
    Temperature
    Saliva and mucus
    When I get sick, usually
    Mind and thoughts
    Memory and learning
    Concentration
    Vision
    Occupation
    Faith
    External Persona
    Positive profile
    Negative profile

    We will mail you the result of the quiz along with some suggestions for lifestyle changes. Keep following @rakhijayashankar and @holisticwellneswithrj. Work on your dosha imbalance and start creating your own quotation on a healthy lifestyle.

  • Is Fibromyalgia Real? Symptoms Of fibromyalgia conditions can be confusing…

    Is Fibromyalgia Real? Symptoms Of fibromyalgia conditions can be confusing…

    “Are you afraid of being sick?”, the doctor asked. I know I am not the first one to be judged for consulting a doctor to cure “body ache”. When the doctors themselves don’t shy away from snubbing and judging the women who are suffering from fibromyalgia, just because they don’t believe in the condition, what would poor patients do? Trust me he is one of the leading neurologists in Kochi. So I was left wondering “Is fibromyalgia real?”. For more than a year I lived in denial because the doctor said so. As the days went by, my pain worsened and I was unable to pinpoint the source of pain as it kept on radiating throughout the body. That’s when my time overlapped with my Holistic Wellness journey. My Yoga, meditation, EFT tapping, reflexology, and all practices worked, and slowly the pain subsided, including severe ENT problems too.

    Is fibromyalgia real?

    Is fibromyalgia real?

    Fibromyalgia is an invisible symptom that doesn’t have symptoms that are evidently visible to others. This is where the real struggle of convincing the healthcare providers, coworkers, and even friends and family comes into the picture. In addition to the pain, the patients would also have sleep issues, mood swings, and memory problems. These are often conveniently ignored by the people around as a normal daily struggle.

    The fact that more than half of the healthcare providers including neurologists is a fact that needs to be addressed on a larger scale because the person who is in pain feels neglected. This in turn could affect their emotions and have a psychological impact on them. Eventually, they leave it to themselves as they become exhausted from the travail.

    • Is fibromyalgia real?
    • Is fibromyalgia real? why is it confusing
    • Is fibromyalgia real? confusing symptoms
    • overlapping symptoms
    • No specific treatment Is fibromyalgia real?
    • Care yourself

    Why the symptoms can be confusing?

    Fibromyalgia has a cluster of symptoms that could overlap with other conditions like arthritis. Hence there is no definitive treatment for the condition. Since the symptoms vary, the cure is more or less an experiment. Nonetheless, the World Health Organisation has already recognized it as a disease and hence the doctors who deny hardly make any sense. They should rather update their medical knowledge up to date to consider fibromyalgia real.

    I was lucky enough to be introduced to the condition by my ENT specialist. Lest I would have left behind wondering myself that I was being lazy. Further, I went ahead and started my therapy by being my therapist. The first step was to stop asking and start acting by making fibromyalgia real in my psyche. Many of you might have been sailing in the same boat and would be surprised to know that ‘hey, there is someone like me. But don’t worry we all are here for you. DM me on my Instagram page to join my holistic wellness community.

  • Visualization Techniques To Assure The Results Of Visualization Meditation To Attain Your Goals

    We live in an era of social media upsurge. We have been exposed to too many visions and noises that often the vision that we need to take forward remains clut momtered in the process. You know what you want, you know what is your aim but you don’t know exactly what it is and how to attain this. Success looks like a hazy picture in a pixelated format. So, how to bring the pixels together and see it as a whole thing? This is where the visualization techniques come into the picture.

    Visualization Techniques - Meditation

    During our holistic wellness journey, we have come across visualization meditation in several instances. The proven benefits of visualization have been undoubtedly established by studies and personal experiences. Sharing some of the techniques that you can try in your daily routine.

    Visualization techniques

    There are two types of visualizations

    1. Outcome visualization – It focuses on what you want to acheive. The ultimate goal that would define your success.
    2. Process visualization – It focus on the steps that lead to the final destination.

    You can try the following visualization techniques despite the fact that you want to do process visualization or outcome visualization.

    Visualization techniques

    1. Vision board

    It is a board or piece of paper where you write down everything that you want to do to achieve. It can be a visual algorithm of what you want to achieve and what you need to do. This is a more effective in-process visualization. Use your all senses to bring your body in tandem with what you want to achieve.

    2. Guided visualization

    You can find someone who provides guided visualization. Close your eyes and listen to the guided visualization that is available on social media. We will soon be coming up with our guided visualization podcast. This is an axillary tool for visualization meditation.

    3. Flash cards

    Flashcards, as you know are the easiest way to learn and remember things. What better way to remind yourself about what you need in your life? Write down 10 -20 important goals or steps to your goal and check these flashcards regularly.

    4. Gain knowledge

    Knowledge is something that is never depleted of resources. The more you learn, the more you find. While visualizing your success or aim, it is imperative that you gain knowledge about the same and apply it while your try to achieve it.

    Visualization Techniques - Write down your goals

    5. Visualization meditation

    This is the most important and effective visualization technique that you can apply in your life. This is the process of using positive images and affirmations to train your mind. You can use affirmations or chant to calm your mind and bring your focus together. An important point to remember is that you have to work every day towards your goal. Even if you have nothing specifically to do, spend at least fifteen minutes on your visualization techniques and the goal that you want to achieve.

    Click the image to listen to the podcast

    Visualization techniques for visualization meditation

    Visualization meditation is largely living your parallel life every day. Have you ever tried living your future? This is not any dystopian fantasy that I am trying to narrate. This is all about what you want to achieve.

    A quiet corner

    It is always better to find a corner of the house that is quiet and devoid of distractions. If you are unable to find one or if you have space constraints, you can wake up a little early, before your family, and sit on the bed for your meditation.

    Gadget free time

    Visualization Techniques - digital detox

    If you are someone who is of the habit of intermittently checking the phone to curb your FOMO, it is always better to keep the gadgets in another room to overcome that tendency and follow digital detox. Because it is important to keep yourself away from distractions. You can use the gadget to play a soothing chant or music if that helps.

    Breathing

    Breathing exercise is an effective step to begin visualization meditation exercises. You can try Pranayama, which is the most effective in bringing your body and mind in one point. Concentrate on breathing and make sure your body is relaxed and ready.

    Think of your favorite location

    Visualizing yourself in a location that you love the most boosts your mood and makes your body ready for the further visualization exercise that you are going to undertake. Further, think of what you want to do so as to attain your goal. This is the point where you are starting your actual visualization. If you want to do process visualization, think of everything that you do ti attain your goal. Make sure your trail of thoughts is in the right order. This is where the vision board helps.

    Repeat as much as you want

    The visualization meditation can be done as much as you want for as many times a day. You can also do it for just five minutes as well. It depends on whether you are ready and prepared.

    Visualization techniques that I have mentioned above have been effective in my life and have delivered unbelievable results. Try them yourself and see how it changes your life. Along with helping you achieve the goals, they also help in reducing stress and anxiety and also improving your self-image.

  • How To Turn Pain Into Positivity?

    Pain is fearsome, be it physical or emotional. None of us want to deal with it because we believe that we are not capable of dealing with it. As a result, we try to keep ourselves busy and distracted so that we don’t have to think about the hurt it causes. As a result, the core source of the pain remains unattended and it remains sore. So, what should we do to enable us to deal with it? How to turn pain into positivity?

    Turn pain into positivity

    Turn pain into positivity:

    There have been instances in my past when I have questioned my self-worth, questioned my choices, and succumbed to emotional hurt. Every time I tried to push it down the sewage by keeping myself busy and not letting myself think of it. It helps in a short-term relief but once the trigger is back, I am back to square 1. This was like a hamster loop which I struggled to come out of. Finally, I found the magical formula. Here is how to turn your pain into positivity.

    How to turn pain into positivity

    1. Deal with the source of pain

    If you are suffering from physical pain you can have several analgesics but emotional pain needs to be dealt with in a deeper perspective. Deal with it. Never try to stop thinking of it because the more you do, the more you get sucked into the whirlpool. The best way is to let yourself feel the emotions. Be with yourself and try to find out the triggers that give you the pain. If you are unable to think straight to find your trigger, never fail to take help.

    2. Find similar souls

    Turn pain into positivity

    If we step out of India we can find numerous anonymous groups which help bring people with similar experiences together. Unfortunately, Indian society is still closed and has its window sealed towards opening up. Have you ever wondered why a common enemy binds you stronger than a common friend? Because in such cases you share the pain. Similarly finding people who share the pain. Make sure not to fall into any traps in this process.

    3. Journal your feelings

    journaling

    Feelings have a strange way of getting mutated once laid out. Journaling your thoughts have the same effect as sharing it with someone. You can see for yourself how you are dealing with your feelings the right way. Do not try to have a structure for this. You are not writing a blog post or a book. You are sharing your feelings with yourself. It is your mirror. If you lost someone, tell them how much they mean to you. Tell how you could let yourself deal with the loss. You can be your counselor.

    4. Explore your passion

    You might be good at something. Reading, writing, singing, gardening, drawing, cooking, or even cleaning your house. Try to find creative ways in doing what you love the most. For me, my blog was the outlet but at some point it became stagnant and I could not think and write. I took a break and did nothing for one month. I took multiple breaks from my social media just to make me figure it out. Now I have the answer to the questions. Once I am back I redesigned my blog, started doing digital marketing for budding women entrepreneurs. These and a few more ventures are in place and I am back with a bang. There are several surprises coming up. They will be shared soon…

    5. Meditate and exercise

    Turn pain into positivity - meditate

    Meditation and exercise are all healers. They have the power of controlling letting yourself controlling your mind in ways that you have never expected. Start meditating and exercising.

    6. Analyse your weekly progress

    Check your progress every week and see how much you have progressed from where you started. You will be surprised to see a new you smiling. But no! don’t give up, keep on trying and continue what you have been doing.

    What more to say, you have learned to turn your pain into positivity. If despite all this you are not able to help yourself, never hesitate to take help because talking help is the best gift you can give yourself at times ultimate peace of mind. Till we meet next time stay happy stay positive.

  • Busting Myths About Your Morning Routine Work

    Before we proceed, I have good news to share with everyone. Holistic wellness with RJ has been selected among the Top 50 Lifestyle Blogs and Top 100 Health blogs by Feedspot. A day well begun is the most productive. Well, it is not a proverb by this is something that I truly believe in. If the beginning of your day is well, the whole day goes well. Due to the same reason, I lose my cool when my kids fight in the morning. Morning time must be calm and peaceful or so I believe. My quest of having a peaceful day and morning in specific led to my ultimate morning routine for wellness. But there are some myths about your morning routine work, that you might have been following without knowing the real fact. Hence breaking the myth for you.

    Morning routine work

    Busting the myths about morning routine work

    The morning routine work is something that we all would like to figure out but the myths surrounding the same are many. Addressing for of these on for our readers.

    1. Keeping the morning alarm out of reach helps in waking better

    While sleeping your body is relaxed, blood circulation is steady and at reduced levels. If you keep the alarm at a distance, you will have to rush out of bed to turn it off, which fails the whole purpose of the morning routine. The sudden variation in the blood flow is not advisable. This might make you light-headed. Moreover, your back muscles would be stiff with long hours of sleep. A sudden jerk will tamper them and you might end up having chronic heart pain

    2. Drinking warm water with lemon helps you in losing weight

    Morning routine work - lemon water

    This has been the most common myth about the morning routine that you might have believed and followed. This is no doubt a detox drink that helps you in flushing out the impurities that would have settled in your body and it is an anti-oxidant. But it doesn’t help you in losing weight. To lose weight regular and controlled diet and exercise are a must. Have the drink as a detox but don’t drink it and wait to lose weight magically.

    3. Working out in the morning is more effective

    Morning routine work - working out

    The effective time of workout largely depends on you. The advantage of a morning routine workout is considered to be that it helps in creating a better routine when you wake up early. But if you are waking up from deep sleep, you might feel lethargic and might be running out of fuel. Evening workout has proven to have the advantage of better endurance. Hence the effectiveness of the workout largely depends on your sleeping pattern and your daily routine.

    4. You must have a heavy breakfast

    Heavy breakfast

    Being a health and nutrition life coach I have always insisted that the clients should not skip their breakfast, no matter what. But that doesn’t mean that the breakfast should be heavy. The breakfast should be healthy with the right mix of Carbs-protein. Unless you are leading an active routine, you need not have a heavy breakfast. But yes, having breakfast on time is necessary.

    It doesn’t mean that following this routine is wrong. But the reasons and explanations that you have been hearing are wrong. Have the right morning routine work for yourself according to your daily routine and work. Stay happy, Stay well!

    I am taking my blog to next level with the  Blogchatter’s #MyFriendAlexa campaign.

  • Why Should We Wakeup by The Right Side in the Morning?

    In the last post, we saw the morning routine for holistic wellness. Now you know what to do after waking up but do you know how to wake up. Or, precisely speaking which side to wake up? You might know that you should wake up by the right side. But do you know why the right side is considered ‘the right side’?

    Which side to wake up in the morning and why?

    It is advisable to wake up on the right side in the morning. This is because the right side is the most stable and hence probably considered right as per various religious beliefs or probably called right. Apart from these, there are several scientific reasons behind this belief.

    Yoga beliefs

    Photo by Alexy Almond on Pexels.com

    Yoga gurus strongly believe that the right side of the body emanates energy. The right side indicates sun in Hatha Yoga which in turn indicates strength and positive energy. Thus it is believed that waking up by the right side energizes your body.

    The pingala nadi that corresponds to the sun’s power is situated on the right side of the body. Hence waking up through the right side of the body activates the Pingala Nadi and hence energizes your body.

    Pingala Nadi

    Pingala Nadi is where our pranic energy originates from. Panic energy is the life force/prana. It is also called sun nadi because it represents solar energy. It passes through the seven chakras of our body. The free-flowing energy of the Pingala Nadi enables us to do physical exercise as it provides us immense energy. Hence waking up by the right side of the brain helps in the free flow of energy through the body as the Pingala Nadi is activated.

    To know more, one should learn about panic energy and the chakras of the body.

    In simple language, why should we wake up by the right side?

    In simple language, it can be explained as there are two magnetic fields in our body. One that passes through the left and one through the right. The magnetic field that passes through the right side of the body helps In providing the energy.

    In short, the explanations could be yogic, ayurvedic, or scientific, it has been proven that waking up by the right side of the body provides you with energy in the morning that helps you in performing your daily activities effectively and energizes your brain as well. For more updates, keep following us. You can stalk me on Instagram and Facebook. Next week when we meet we have lots to talk to, rakhi is coming up, friendship day alongside, and breastfeeding awareness week is coming. So stay tuned for more.

  • The Importance Of Saying No For Eternal Positivity

    Being positive doesn’t mean that you should always say positive answers to everyone’s request and “order”. Being positive also means that you should severe that which affect your peace of mind. Quite often you would have come across situations where you feel that you are being taken for granted. You keep quiet. Why?Because that person is sweet to you. Or Because you don’t want to offend anyone. Result? You end up being frustrated and feeling low.

    Importance of saying no

    Learn to say NO

    Firstly, what you need to perceive is that positivity doesn’t mean positive answers. You can say a NO and still be positive because, with a simple NO, you could keep the further negative thoughts at bay.

    You bottle up the emotions, frustrations and end up burning out.

    Being there for someone is easier said than done. But if you are being there for someone who doesn’t value it, then it’s an injustice you do to yourself and your self-worth. So next time you hesitate to say a NO ask yourself because now you know the importance of saying no.

    Questions to ask yourself:

    1. Is it wrong to deny?

    ‘I can’t say no to anyone because if feel guilty.’ You might come across this line quite often or said it yourself. But have you ever asked yourself why?

    You are conditioned to behave in a certain way that you make everyone happy. Be kind, compassionate – These lines are instilled so deep that you have lost the discretion of whom to be kind and compassionate.

    You are mature enough to realize if you are being taken for granted. If you let yourself being subjected to it, whom should you blame? YOURSELF!

    2. Will it hurt anyone?

    As simple as it sounds, the question is equally tricky. If someone is there to make you feel that you hurt them, the decision to see through the pretence is up to you. Beyond this ‘victim play’ if you think logically, and still feel that your No will hurt them, you shouldn’t ent. But ‘anyone’ includes you as well.

    Will it hurt you? Will you go on a contemplative mode about ‘Why didn’t I deny? , Why can’t I deny’ Therre you go you are hurting yourself.

    3. Will it give me happiness and peace?

    Sometimes, denial is tough. But once you put your door down and take the decision, you would feel like a burden is out of your brain. This is classic situation of toxic relations – be it friendships, or relationships.

    We have grown up in country that gave birth to Mahatma Gandhi and Mother Teresa. We are brought up with the ideology that we should help others and keep ourselves as second priority. We should indeed help those who are in need not the ones who need you for their selfish needs. Recognise them and keep them at bay without guilt. This post might sound like a negative one, but trust me this is the ultimate step to eternal positivity. Hold those that value you right but keep those that use you at bay. Learn the importance of saying NO! Say it without guilt.

  • Follow the signs: Don’t be an emotional fool.

    Have you ever wondered  “How I trusted that person!”. Have you ever regretted not trusting your instincts about someone? Have ever thought of repenting for the mistake of ignoring your loved ones’ warning about someone! I’m sure you would have, at some point of time. This might have happened in a relationship, friendship, or any such relations wherein we blindly trusted someone ignoring the signs that call out so loud. We immerse our head inside the humongous lies like an Ostrich and fail to see the reality that was there all along. We call ourselves emotional fools and spend the rest of our lives repenting it.

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    What we need to understand is that, being an emotional fool doesn’t make you weak. It proves that you can love someone strongly. Love and trust is your strength and if someone use it to break you, it proves that how weak they are. They have nothing of their own and they are using what you have. It is like mugging someone. But Love and trust is not something that someone can steal from you.  The more they try to feed on it, the weaker they become. What you should understand is that you should not let your guard down. They are doing this to you because you are richer at different level. I am not talking of the monetary terms.

    So if someone is trying to feed on your love and trust, identify the signals, listen to your loved ones and still if you fail, don’t spend the rest of your life regretting it. Understand that you are being the strongest, richest and the purest. Understand your worth, keep your head high and be proud of what you are. You were used not because you were bad but because others were evil to use your naivety and sincerity.